So this is back from September 2006, but I think it's funny. I worked at a staffing company while I lived in Provo ad there was a radio station that asked listeners to send in their lists of "Things That Must Go". My co-worker and I did and our list actually made it on the radio. I think it's hilarious. You may think it's mean, but when you hear and see the same things from the same people everyday, it's makes you a bit crazy. Here's what we sent to the radio station:So, my coworker and I are FOPs (
and no I don't remember what this stands for... friends of someone, I think). We work for a staffing agency (we prefer not to disclose which one, even though it's in my email address) and we have come up with some things that must go. Working in the temporary/staffing world, you meet a lot of interesting people. Interesting meaning hygiene problems, creepy, and all around strange. For those of you looking for looking for temp work, don't do these things. They don't impress us, never will, and are just plain irritating.
1. People who don't bathe for days and come into the office. We understand you need money, but you don't need to prove it to us with bad hygiene, or by using our bathroom as your personal shower.
2. Returned Missionaries putting the "leadership" positions they had on there mission as valid work experience. We're glad you did the service, but just because you live in Utah doesn't mean that needs to go on your resume. It wasn't a job, it was volunteer work. (PS: I'm an RM, it's not on my resume, and in any other state it's not going to fly.)
3. People that bring their children into the office. We like kids, just not when they run in every room, draw on everything, play with your phone and computer, and then clog the bathroom with 9 rolls of paper towel and who know what else.
4. People who say they are overqualified for everything simply because they have ran their own business. Look honey, no one cares about the time you spend selling stuff on eBay and no you can't call yourself the CEO! You're coming to a temp agency, it can't be going all that well.
5. People, who after we've explained that we are a drug-free company, do random drug screening, and don't tolerate drug use at all, continue to tell you about the times they got wasted on the beach and ask you if you experiment with drugs. I would drug test you now, but I know you'd take a bath in my sink and I don't want to clean that up.
6. People who continue to tell you the same story every time they see you, which is every week. I know the story. I know you almost died on your mission and I don't care anymore.
7. People who come in every week and ask us if we speak Spanish. I didn't speak Spanish last week and I still don't. Stop asking. When I speak Spanish, I'll let you know. in Spainsh!!
8. Guys that come in and during the interview hit on you, tell you that you're beautiful, and that you should leave your boyfriend for them. Look, my boyfriend has a job and doesn't smell like BO and cabbage. By the way, do you know what sexual harassment is?
9. Old men that come in, call you every pet in the book, try to hook you up with his "younger" brother who happens to be twice your age, and continually asks you if you have been naked in every body of water in the state of Utah. No I have not. No I will not. And yes, my "Jesus Jammies" stay on all the time, stop asking.
10. Just because I have a candy jar on my desk doesn't mean you need to eat 20 suckers. They are not a meal. They are for children, not grown men and women. You can have one, but just one!
11. We are a temp agency. We have temp jobs. They will not last forever. You cannot be a CEO for a day. I only make $11/hour. Chances of you getting a temp job that is making more than me are slim to none. Welcome to Utah County.
12. Just because I sit at the front desk doesn't mean I'm the receptionist. I can fire you ass as fast as anyone can.
13. Our testing center is not a place for "nap time". I realize you just walked to my office, I cared for about three seconds. Now get off my floor.
14. Taxes. I'm sorry you owe money for taxes, I really am. But, when you claim married and 8 children when you are single and don't really have any kids that tends to happen. Stop lying and pay the government. And yes, Medicare will come out regardless of what you claim. Stop asking me.
15. We understand that you want to work in an office, but when you can't even turn on a computer it's get a little hard for me to find something for you. You failed all my tests, have no degree, and no previous office experience. What do you want me to do? Stop yelling at me!!!
16. And lastly, managers that constantly tell you to "keep rockin' and rollin'". Who are you, Casey Kasem? I don't rock and I don't roll.
