I'm sorry...

So the past few weeks I've been, how shall I put it? An ass, to say the least. I'm not talking about a cute little donkey either. I'm talking a whining, braying ass with a princess hat that bites and kicks... Not a pretty sight.

I'm pretty sure I've hurt some people close to me over the last little while and for that I have no excuse. Not a one. I haven't answered phone calls. I haven't returned phone calls or text messages or emails. I've even just down-right avoided people all together. I've just never had to deal with so much stuff at the same time and I'm not really sure how to handle it all. I know you're all thinking that all I had to do was ask and someone would be there for me. I realize that, but have you met me? I'm the independent one that tries to forget her stupid problems by doing things for others. Asking for help is not the easiest thing for me and with the inability to drive or even walk at a normal pace right now makes me feel more like a burden than anything. I'm not used to that and I don't think others should have to deal with it.

Now I'm not asking you to pity me for my situation right now, I'm just asking you to understand me for a minute. I now realize that I've been just plain rude to a lot of people that I care about and for that behavior I'm truly sorry. I have, however, noticed that it's a problem and have resolved to fix it. I thought it easiest to make a list of the things that I've thought of that I need to improve on. I've listed them here so you guys can keep an eye on me and if I start to go back to the way I was I give you full permission to kick me, yell at me, or just call me out on it.

-I will have a better attitude about my situation. Obviously I need to learn a few things here and complaining about it doesn't help.

-I will answer my phone and return calls, text, and emails in a timely manner.

-I will accept help from others when offered and will ask for help when needed.

-I will be more social and not hide in my comfort zone.

-I will be a better friend.

If you guys can think of thing else I need to add to my list, please let me know. For some reason I've been blessed with people that love me and I don't wanna lose that because of my attitude or behavior. So Loreena, Amanda, Julie, Karen, Mike, Kristi, Mom, Dad, Clint, Chis, and anyone else I may have hurt forgive me. I'm sorry and will make it up to you.

On the inside, I am a 12 year old boy

So, it's been brought to my attention (more than once) that I'm not very girly. I tend to be more of a 12 year old boy than a 27 year old young lady. And to that I say, "So what?" Yes, I totally dig Transformers, Iron Man, and really any good action movie with a robot-y thing in it or where someone gets killed.

I think bodily functions are, for the most part, funny. I use inappropriate language sometimes because sometimes there are no other words to use to tell someone they are being a douchebag or an asshat. (Take note of the camo shirt in a previous post.)

I like to know how things work and would try to take said things apart if I thought I had an even slight chance of putting it back together and have it return to working order. TV shows that show how things get made or how things blow up make me happy. I could watch them all day and if given the chance to do so, I just might take it.

I like dead things... yes, I said dead things. I have taken pictures of roadkill and will continue to be fascinated by it. Yes, I know it's gross. No, I don't know why I'm like this so don't ask... just accept it.



I love fire.

I love things that blow up, explode, or just get destroyed. Once I learned how to blow fire in my front yard I have tried to impress most everyone with my skills. If you haven't seen it, lemme know. I'll be more than happy to show you. Then you too can impress your family and friends.

It's always been easier for me to talk to guys. They don't have as much drama as girls and I gravitate towards that. I love a good rock show. I'm not the one in the mosh pit, but I will be the one laughing as you get body slammed for 45 minutes. I love sports. I can't play very many very well at all, but I'll give it a try. All in all, I'm still 27 and I'm for sure still a girl, but sometimes the boy in me takes over and I don't think it's a bad thing. Just give him some attention and something that will explode and we'll both be happy.